JunkDror

Don’t kill yourself yet!

Yes, you may never feel the romantic embrace of another again; and yes, your friends may leave you lonesome forever to pursue fulfilling lives with their partners; and yes, you may, eventually, have to seek the warmth of your parents in nothing but their spirits. But…

Someone in love is getting cheated on right now! 

A brutal but painstakingly remedial sentiment, I do not have a better-spirited projection to treat the sickening pursuit of companionship. Especially, when subjected to an extensive amount of involuntary hours with yourself, as your favorite people are bound to amorous obligations. 

However, by circumstance, you are well-endowed with idle time to become better than everyone else!

Boredom should be non-existent. In daylight, when you are vulnerable to coupled onlookers, leverage restaurants with outdoor patios to have a pretentious-seeming lunch with you and a book, preferably torturous Russian literature. Quiet nights must consist of Criterion Channel binges, anticipating the discovery of a new gut-wrenching film you can add to your “Favorites” on Letterboxd, and ultimately boast about your taste in movies. Weekends are for live music – jazz, rock, punk, classical – any venue where there are cocktails, sexy musicians, other tipsy singles to chat with, or just a cold seat to fill.

And you get a bed all to yourself!?

You will arrive home embarrassingly drenched in sweat and puffy in the face. There will be no one on the other side of the door and even less, a hopeful spirit. The alcohol-induced tears that clung to your eyelashes on the silent journey home will finally have room to fall, and in bed you’ll dream of a life where their love is abundant and you dance all night long. If you are graced with truly good sleep and eternal mercy, your eyes would never wake.

But life goes on and you must patiently wait; carelessly indulging in the savory taste of autonomy and investing in the “trivial” activities you hold dear. Prolific or distracting – to each their own.